Christmas Day, marked the one year anniversary of my Ascending. My hard earned gift, reunion with my Soul Self. And it's been an interesting year.
When I last posted I was aware that after the powerful period of ascending, everything was settling and integrating within me. So, What happens next after your Soul Self connects and merges into the you incarnate within your physical body? After the euphoria of living each day for months in continuous theta and delta brain wave states? And after the boundless joy and gratitude of finally merging as One into your full self and experiencing the end of separation in the physical? And after connecting fully with your higher knowing?
What occurred next was the last thing I expected, not that I knew or really had any idea what to expect. But the next step in the process of ascending left me completely stunned, and confused. Everything went silent.
By silent I mean that I was completely void of intuition, inner knowing, and communication with my Soul Self. I experienced a total loss of knowing. No morning messages. No answers or response of any kind to plea to understand what was happening. When I asked for information, nothing come through. No epiphanies. Very few synchronistic experiences. My guide did not respond to me. I experienced the silence as a separation from Source and my Soul Self far greater than anything I could ever remember. It was devastating and it went on for months. I remember thinking “This is like some enormous cosmic joke.” and not a very funny one at that.
Nothing I did to reconnect helped. Meditation was a total bust. I couldn't keep my focus on what I was doing long enough to visualize my body filling with light, much less slow my mind down. My mind ricocheted around like a super ball bouncing in a closed room. My emotions swung around as well. I was confused, discouraged, and frustrated. Worse, knowing that having thoughts and emotions in the low vibrations states of discouragement and frustration would only serve to create more discouragement and frustration in my life, was, well, doubly frustrating. I felt like I was in a big catch-22. And I had no one who could help me, or listen and understand what I was experiencing. I yearned to connect with someone else who had experienced ascending, yet I found only people speaking of ascension to come in the future.
So I just keep raising my vibration up throughout the days and shifting my thoughts into positive territory as best I could. Finally after two or three months, I came across a very short paragraph in the Kryon Book 12,The Twelve Layers of DNA which explained what I was experiencing. Now I'd already read this book twice before going through Ascension, however I'd not noticed or really understood this passage. It explained that in Ascension, after full DNA activation, everything shuts down to reboot just like a computer. The period would last for a day, a week or a few months and always left the person crying out in despair, “How could you forsake me???”
OK, this helped greatly. Clearly I was doing (I chose) the long, slow version of this reboot.
This was a very difficult period to wait through. Sometimes for just a moment I'd wonder if I'd been mistaken about what I'd experienced. Yet the power of ascending is too huge and occurs over such a number of months that I knew I'd not imagined it.
What sustained me in the silence was the discovery that when I looked within I found a number of very significant changes. Most noticeably, I discovered that my spiritual knowledge base was much more expansive. When I come across concepts that I'd never considered before in this lifetime, I found that I already have a deep understanding of the concept. Understanding and insights didn't come through as a flow of knowing entering into and through me. The understanding and knowledge I did not have before is just there as if I acquired it a long time ago. My perspective and discernment are both so much broader. Again, as if they had always been this way. There is now a larger gap between how I perceive and understand what is happening around me compared with others. Articles, blog posts, and books that I previously looked forward to, now come across as messages of cheer leading and encouragement, but I find they don't have any new or helpful information to learn from. I have a far greater understanding and level of discernment about inner vibration, which I'll expand on in future posts because vibration is very, very important. While in many ways I felt like my old pre-ascension self, and at the same time, I found I was very greatly changed.
The re-boot process is now progressing gradually, gently and steadily, rather than in sudden, powerful ways. Most mornings as I'm waking now I have the morning message connection. My knowing at times comes through, and gradually, it's becoming stronger and more continuous. I'm able now to go into meditation (much gratitude for this). And the past few days I feel streams of energy coming into my third eye chakra, especially at the back of my head.
The other night I met a man who had gone through a near death experience. He said it had occurred four years ago and he'd spent the last four years integrating the experience and was only now venturing out to reconnect with people and see what changes had transpired in the outer world. This gave me a different perspective on my last year of relative hibernation and the magnitude of what I've been integrating over a relatively short period of time. I have never put so few miles on my car as I've done in the past year. I've needed instead to stay quiet, wait as patiently as I could (patience in this phase has been a very big challenge for me), and allow the integration and rebooting process to unfold.
As with any process of change, it's always easier to transit through it if one knows what the process is and can track themselves through the process. While there's lots of information out there about the preparation process of Ascension. There is very little information about what one experiences in the actual event of ascending, And, with the exception of the short paragraph in the Kryon DNA book (at least what I could discover), an absence of information about the process one go through immediately after the powerful and amazing experience of ascending. So I hope this is helpful.
It feels absolutely fabulous that this long period in which I was unable to write has ended. Now, once again, I feel there is much to share.
Godspeed on your journey!