Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Marking Mile Stones Amidst Our Bursts of Expansion

One year ago today, my beloved dog, Audrey, passed over. Audrey was a wise old soul who shared much wisdom and compassion throughout her life. She was 11 years, one month, and one day old on the day of her passing, 11 11.

Audrey accompanied me through many transitions, in the physical, the mental and emotional, and the spiritual levels. She opened doors for me, took me to parks I wouldn't have experienced, led me to neighbors and new friends I wouldn't have otherwise met, and wove great hilarity and laughter through my days. I spoke with her constantly. She understood every single word I said, no matter how complex or abstract the topic. She was a hard head who liked to have things her way. In knowing her, I learned that I'm like this too. More than once, she gave me a daily routine to follow which served as a path out of the depths of darkness and grief.

Anniversaries such as this can serve as mile markers for us. In acknowledging this day one year ago, my attention is drawn to how far I've traveled in such a short time. We can use these mile markers to pause, look back on who we were then, check where we are now, and from this comparison, come to appreciate our growth on all levels. It's important for our continued growth and expansion that we assess our progress from time to time. It helps to place ourselves in the present. It helps us remember to pause, especially now when all is transforming with such speed.

Many of my online contacts, as well as in my personal life, are sharing that they too are experiencing this burst of expansion over the past three weeks or so. What I'm experiencing is exciting, energizing, stupefying, and confusing. Internally, there is a spaciousness I've never felt before coupled with a greater level of comprehension. At the same time, my ability to focus and concentrate is diminished by about half. I strive to communicate and feel at a loss to find words that describe what I'm experiencing and my emerging levels of understanding. My sense of time has gone wonky. What feels like 20 minutes turns out to be two hours and vice versa. I'm operating more in the present. This is a good thing. Although it means that what I laid out clearly in my mind while driving somewhere is a tattered mess by the time I get back to my computer to write it out. I'm just not there any more.

It's comforting to know that we are not alone in going through this experience. If we didn't have someone else who could reply, "I know exactly what you mean, It's happening to me now too." we'd really feel lost.

All in all, it's an amazing transition. The Higher Self descending down to reside more fully in the physical body. The process has been going on for some time. Yet this current phase is a huge burst, a major step towards embodying our Whole Selves. As this occurs, it will take time for us to integrate and adjust. And as we integrate more of our whole Self, it will become easier to function in our daily lives. At the moment it feels very awkward to be half Wiser Self and half blithering idiot.

There is an image that I've used for many years that aids my understanding while going through major transitions. It's the image of a lake. After days of bright sunshine and calm steadiness, the lake takes on a cloudiness of small particles and microscopic algae floating throughout the water. Then the storm comes and everything is all churned up, the waves choppy, dark clouds and rain falling, the wind whipping up the currents. In the morning after the storm passes, the sun comes out and the lake is sparkling with pristine, clear waters. Just like the lake, we have to go through the churning up of the storm to reach a new level of clarity. Knowing where we are in this process helps us weather through the turbulence of our major transitions. Knowing we are together in this greatest of transitions. Knowing that we have Light Beings and Guardian Angels there to guide us.

Audrey, Here's to you, my Guardian Angel Dog Spirit. In heart, we travel together still. I too cherish you always. ♥