It's sometimes a challenge to express 3D perceptions in the linear form of 2D sentences on paper. Expressing multi-dimensional perceptions in writing, well let's just acknowledge that it's a whole new realm to master. So I'll start with the dreams.
There's a recurring dream I've had over the past year where I'm in my house and it's filled with lots of people that I did not invite there. In the first such dream, I discovered a door to a stair case leading to a lower level I never knew was there. The lower level was expensively finished in a style I didn't resonate with. It was not me at all. I did not know any of the people who were milling around enjoying a party. In another, my unfisnished house was full of workmen, who I did not hire and who were doing things I'd not asked to be done. One man was busy painting a wall a terrible shade of pink and I screamed at him to stop. In a third, I was having a party and many of the people were people I knew. Then I caught a group sneaking in through a door in the lower level that I'd not known was there. I told them to leave.
Although I sought to discover the meaning of these dreams, I never felt I really got to the message.
Over the past week I had three dreams with a different recurring theme, my chickens. (I have a flock of chickens that I raise. I love my chickens, each one is named, and they bring me great joy and wonderful organic free-range eggs.) What was the message about chickens??
Two days ago I had a dream that combined the two recurring themes. In the dream, I went outside and saw that the tall fence around my chicken coop had been cut down to three feet and one fence gate had been taken down. My chickens were jumping the fence and scattering about. The adjoining neighbor was doing construction right at the property line with lots of workmen doing excavation work along my boundary. The neighbor was older, with grey hair and a grey beard. I voiced that this was my property and they had no right to cut down my fence. I went inside the coop and found a room with some chickens that had not escaped. I passed through another door and entered into a large lobby full of people. It was still "my home". There were a couple of vendors selling cheap jewelry and make up. And a steady stream of people were coming in the doors. I yelled at them all, "You have no right to be here. This is my space. You need to leave." I pushed people out the doors. The vendors started packing up to leave. More people came in and told them to leave and I pushed them out. I kept standing up for myself.
After I woke from the combined theme dream, I wrote it down, looking for the meaning. This time it all came clear. The dreams have been giving me a message about the clearing process. We say we're being chicken when we are afraid of something, particularly something we don't need to be afraid of. Chickens/fears scattering and fluttering away. Progressively over the uninvited people dreams, I began standing up and demanding the unwanted people leave my space. Standing up for my Self. Standing up for my my sovereignty. Demanding that person(a)s that are not me, leave.
Over the course of our lives, and especially during our childhoods, we take on so many personas. False personas. We learn to define ourselves through others' perceptions of us, their projections, our misunderstandings. In my case, I've taken on various personas as the person who was too sensitive, too independent, too emotional, too self-centered, the one who wants too much, the one who doesn't know what she's talking about, the one who's never happy, the one who isn't worth noticing. These personas each hold fears and limiting beliefs.
As I came to this understanding about the meaning of the dream, I saw three or four ghost-like "people" drift out of my body and float away. They were like flat, semi-transparent, two-dimensional people made of steam. And they vanished. I had the image of paper dolls. Remember those? The cardboard people we could dress up with paper outfits, folding the little tabs over the shoulders and waist. By way of analogy, the personas we take on are like layer upon layer of outfits on a paper doll.
From my inner knowing, I was suddenly aware of how these personas that I absorbed along the way function like lenses, obscuring, coloring, sometimes blinding, my awareness and perception. They shaped my thoughts, shaped my inner dialogue, shaped my emotions, shaped my reactions, and limited what options I could see. I spent the remainder of the day playing with putting my old personas on and removing them and noticing the difference in how I felt emotionally, mentally, physically. When I release and remove the personas I feel powerful, flexible, strong, and optimistic. I weigh less and stand straighter. The opportunities available to me are unlimited. I feel free. My vibration is high.
I joyfully now release all the false personas I've taken on in my life thus are. I release them and the fears and limiting beliefs they hold. They have served me well by deepening my experiences, my understanding of the human condition, and my awareness. They have assisted me in developing compassion for myself and others. In releasing them, yet integrating in my learning, all that I am becomes larger and wiser.
We each have our own unique experiences and perceptions, yet I believe we are all in the process of uncovering who we really are. Of discovering our own unique magnificence. It's like Clark Kent stripping off the insecure, dorky façade to reveal the Superman within.
