Christmas Day,
marked the one year anniversary of my Ascending. My hard earned gift,
reunion with my Soul Self. And it's been an interesting year.
When I last posted I
was aware that after the powerful period of ascending, everything was
settling and integrating within me. So, What happens next after your
Soul Self connects and merges into the you incarnate within your
physical body? After the euphoria of living each day for months in
continuous theta and delta brain wave states? And after the boundless
joy and gratitude of finally merging as One into your full self and
experiencing the end of separation in the physical? And after
connecting fully with your higher knowing?
What occurred next
was the last thing I expected, not that I knew or really had any idea
what to expect. But the next step in the process of ascending left me
completely stunned, and confused. Everything went silent.
By silent I mean
that I was completely void of intuition, inner knowing, and
communication with my Soul Self. I experienced a total loss of
knowing. No morning messages. No answers or response of any kind to
plea to understand what was happening. When I asked for information,
nothing come through. No epiphanies. Very few synchronistic
experiences. My guide did not respond to me. I experienced the
silence as a separation from Source and my Soul Self far greater than
anything I could ever remember. It was devastating and it went on for
months. I remember thinking “This is like some enormous cosmic
joke.” and not a very funny one at that.
Nothing I did to
reconnect helped. Meditation was a total bust. I couldn't keep my
focus on what I was doing long enough to visualize my body filling
with light, much less slow my mind down. My mind ricocheted around
like a super ball bouncing in a closed room. My emotions swung
around as well. I was confused, discouraged, and frustrated. Worse,
knowing that having thoughts and emotions in the low vibrations
states of discouragement and frustration would only serve to create
more discouragement and frustration in my life, was, well, doubly
frustrating. I felt like I was in a big catch-22. And I had no one
who could help me, or listen and understand what I was experiencing.
I yearned to connect with someone else who had experienced ascending,
yet I found only people speaking of ascension to come in the future.
So I just keep
raising my vibration up throughout the days and shifting my thoughts
into positive territory as best I could. Finally after two or three
months, I came across a very short paragraph in the Kryon Book 12,The Twelve Layers of DNA which explained what I was experiencing.
Now I'd already read this book twice before going through Ascension,
however I'd not noticed or really understood this passage. It
explained that in Ascension, after full DNA activation, everything
shuts down to reboot just like a computer. The period would last for
a day, a week or a few months and always left the person crying out
in despair, “How could you forsake me???”
OK, this helped
greatly. Clearly I was doing (I chose) the long, slow version of this
reboot.
This was a very
difficult period to wait through. Sometimes for just a moment I'd
wonder if I'd been mistaken about what I'd experienced. Yet the
power of ascending is too huge and occurs over such a number of
months that I knew I'd not imagined it.
What sustained me in
the silence was the discovery that when I looked within I found a
number of very significant changes. Most noticeably, I discovered
that my spiritual knowledge base was much more expansive. When I
come across concepts that I'd never considered before in this
lifetime, I found that I already have a deep understanding of the concept. Understanding
and insights didn't come through as a flow of knowing entering into
and through me. The understanding and knowledge I did not have
before is just there as if I acquired it a long time ago. My
perspective and discernment are both so much broader. Again, as if they had always been this way. There is now a
larger gap between how I perceive and understand what is happening
around me compared with others. Articles, blog posts, and books that
I previously looked forward to, now come across as messages of cheer
leading and encouragement, but I find they don't have any new or
helpful information to learn from. I have a far greater
understanding and level of discernment about inner vibration, which
I'll expand on in future posts because vibration is very, very important.
While in many ways I felt like my old pre-ascension self, and at the same
time, I found I was very greatly changed.
The re-boot process
is now progressing gradually, gently and steadily, rather than in sudden, powerful
ways. Most mornings as I'm waking now I have the morning message
connection. My knowing at times comes through, and gradually, it's
becoming stronger and more continuous. I'm able now to go into
meditation (much gratitude for this). And the past few days I feel streams of energy coming
into my third eye chakra, especially at the back of my head.
The other night I
met a man who had gone through a near death experience. He said it
had occurred four years ago and he'd spent the last four years
integrating the experience and was only now venturing out to
reconnect with people and see what changes had transpired in the
outer world. This gave me a different perspective on my last year of
relative hibernation and the magnitude of what I've been integrating
over a relatively short period of time. I have never put so few
miles on my car as I've done in the past year. I've needed instead to stay
quiet, wait as patiently as I could (patience in this phase has been
a very big challenge for me), and allow the integration and rebooting
process to unfold.
As with any process
of change, it's always easier to transit through it if one knows what
the process is and can track themselves through the process. While
there's lots of information out there about the preparation process
of Ascension. There is very little information about what one experiences in the actual event of
ascending, And, with the exception of the short paragraph in the
Kryon DNA book (at least what I could discover), an absence of
information about the process one go through immediately after the
powerful and amazing experience of ascending. So I hope this is
helpful.
It feels absolutely fabulous that this long period in which I was unable to write has ended. Now, once again, I feel there is much to share.
Godspeed on your journey!
Helen
