Learning to Accept the Unknown

Guidance came to me suggesting that it's best that I keep this blog as a journal sharing my journey through this Great Transition, which is close to what I'd envisioned at the beginning. I have no idea whether this is of interest to anyone, but perhaps in sharing my experience it will provide encouragement and inspiration for yours.

My plan for moving north is taking shape and at the same time, as more news comes in, feeling more urgent. To be honest, this is all feeling very surreal. Two weeks ago I intended to stay here long term. I was planning to buy the house I'm living in. I was visualizing all the raised garden beds completed, full of rich soil and lush green plants. I was mapping out a fruit orchard and planting hedges of raspberries, blackberries, and trellised grapes. I had no desire to move and didn't see the need to. I've quickly made the mental/emotional switch and accepted that here we go again! Pack up and off to yet another place I don't know and have no connection to anyone. The past three moves were good preparation, I'm not afraid of relocating to an unfamiliar place. If you're facing this, it's not so hard as it appears. It can be a really good experience. The unexpected can turn out to be awesome. There are kind, good people everywhere.

Today I'm at the stage of taking a deep breath before plunging in on selling furniture and unneeded possessions, and packing up. It feels completely overwhelming in one way, and not so bad in another. At least I know where to begin. Photographs and posting on Craig's List.

I had a reading done last week asking for clarifications about my prompts to relocate. I received much guidance about listening to what comes through the ethers and to be accepting of being in a state of unknowing, rather than to seek certainty ahead. That we all must accept the unknowing. It's a big part of our growth through these times. I find myself walking a tenuous line between gathering news of what is currently going on in the world and keep myself from being sucked into the emotions of what is being said by others. A challenge to stay clear as to my own feelings and inner promptings and not be swayed by others' emotions. It's the goal for each of us going forward - stay tuned to your own inner voice, your heart, and your feelings. Feelings carry massive amounts of information with them, if we listen.

There's another transition going on within me at this same time, actually there are many, but I'll focus on this one. Over the past three years I was given the opportunity to heal and center back into who I am after a long period of intense work, little time for reflection, and much sadness in what occurred, which left me greatly burnt out and way out of balance. It was a huge gift from the universe to receive the space to rejuvenate and recoup, to release issues and feelings stored in my emotional, mental, and physical body, to ground, recenter, and expand. I benefited greatly from this time and space, and am extremely grateful. Before this gift, I had never had the time, space, and financial resources to withdraw totally into myself, to just be, to stay primarily in isolation.

That period is over now, I know this. Though I'm having some difficultly emerging back into a more active life. I welcome the resurgence, and at the same time, struggle against a too familiar inertia from the past three years. Anyway, it's got to end now, there's too much to do today, and tomorrow, and the next day. Feeling my energy moving in action is what feels best now. Two things would really help though. First is a drop from the mid-90 degree temperatures and oppressive humidity that have been here for the past month. I like warm weather, but it's just too damn hot. Second is to have some company in this endeavor. Having not lived here long, I don't know a lot of people, least not the kind one can call and say, "Hey, can you help me with packing?" There are no long-term friends or family nearby. Many hands make light work. I wish my daughter and son-in-law 2b were here. That we were doing this together. It is our time, the time for all of us to pull together.

Where I'm relocating to hasn't come into focus yet. It will, that I have no doubt. This trust feels good. After much inner work, much learning and growing, here is the chance to put all the learning into action. To live with the unknown and trust that we can stay fluid, holding the vibration of joy and appreciation, and knowing that the right doors will open for us as we need them.