It is so magical the ease with which inner knowing and guidance come in to us now. All we have to do is ask the question or make the request for information and it shows up quickly, between immediately to 48 hours.
I've been asking for knowing about what is getting in my way.
I see now that my answers have been coming in in layers. Peeling back the onion, as we say. This awareness reminded me of Stanley Kunitz' beautiful and powerful poem, The Layers. On rereading it, I find his poem to be a perfect expression of where I am today. What he expresses about the journey through life is so universal. And it was his inner knowing that directed him forward to "Live in the layers, not on the litter." In this post, I could have simply written: "This is where I am today" and posted Stanely Kunitz' poem. But that would be a cop out and this post is about making the decision not to cop out nor live on the litter anymore.
Back to the point, I've been asking for knowing about what is getting in my way. And every few days I receive another insight about a limiting belief I was not consciously aware of, a fear to release, a prod to take action in some way.
I used to be a night owl, however, the early morning epiphanies I'm now experiencing have made me love the mornings and the moments when I'm first just waking up. This morning brought a very big Ah Ha. Sitting with my cup of coffee, my awareness shifted and I suddenly saw with clarity the pattern that is not serving me at all in my desire to move forward creating the life that I love. My answer to what is getting in my way is pure and simple, myself and a fear.
We've been getting the messages recently about now is the time for us to have the courage to be and express ourselves as who we truly are. Well I've always been a free spirit, regardless of the disapproval I've encountered from some along the way. So I brushed off the guidance as an issue I didn't really need to focus on. This morning I realized that is not the case at all. In fact the fear of expressing who I really am is right at the heart of the matter.
The pattern I now recognize in myself is one of holding back from expressing who I am. Like in creating my new business. Rather than just move forward with all the steps necessary to launch this business, I've been creating excuses, obstacles, stalling, and generally employing anything I can to avoid putting the real me out in the world. I can't do this because that hasn't happened yet. I need to take care of that before I can finish up the copy for my website, I'm feeling to out of alignment to do much today.........Yada yada, yada.
What most often holds us back from openly expressing who we are is the fear of what we might experience, and in particular what we might feel. Being a Lightworker, we've had a hard road to this point full of rejection, judgement, feeling all alone, feeling that we don't fit in, feeling disappointment. Years ago doing personal growth work with a therapist, she identified that disappointment wove a continuous thread through my life. Yet I somehow found the strength and courage to keep imagining what I could create and going forward. Looking back from today, I see the thread of disappointment continued on, weaving through so many of my endeavors. To the point that the fear of feeling more disappointment is my biggest obstacle.
Now I could spend some more days roaming around in my head looking at how this disappointment or that one influenced me, but that would just be continuing to live the pattern I choose now to release. Instead, I can choose to cast the fear aside, center into resonance with my immense strength and courage and go for it. And that is exactly what I'm choosing to do. I am fed up and done with feeling stuck, which frankly, feels just as bad as the disappointment I've been seeking to avoid.
I have always known in every cell in my body that I have the power to create what I want. That knowing has never left me. Much of the disappointment, and deep frustration, I've felt for so many years is about how hard it's been to manifest what I want in the 3D world. Like swimming upstream in cold molasses. Yet we're in 5D now. Everything is different. The knowing and guidance we request comes to us with ever increasing speed. The massage comes through in every direction: "Now is our time for living in joy!" And I love and respect myself too much to let some imagined fear of perhaps feeling disappointment get in my way from experiencing the joy of being and expressing who I truly am. When we hold ourselves back because of the fear of the bad things we might experience, we then miss out on all the good things we can experience.
Peeling back, releasing and clearing. It's all part of the process of experiencing ascension in the physical. We spiral upwards. We peel back the layers and with each layer our awareness expands, our understanding deepens, and we clear away a bit more of the fog we experience as the veil. This is our process of blooming. Of opening up with courage and strength to reveal the lotus flower that we each are.
Now, I have some work to do. Tomorrow I'll finish up and post the blog post about vibrations that I started yesterday. With much love, Helen
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