Changing Our Wallpaper By a Leap Of Faith

There are many patterns in our lives. Patterns of behavior, patterns of thinking. They repeat around us like the patterns in fabric and wallpaper. The wallpaper of our lives. Block print, floral print, geometric. Over time, they grow stale with age and peel along the edges, finger prints along the door frames and around light switches. Aging until we strip the walls bare and sit quietly alone in the room. Quiet in the empty blankness and wait, listening for our heart within. It's after this solitude, after sitting in the emptiness, that we come to know what new color or pattern reflects who we are now. Only then can we decorate our life in ways that speak from the soul.

The scary part can be allowing the silence in. It's the leap of faith. Holding in the moments when you're suspended in mid-air, unsure where you'll land. The period of free fall are unnerving. My experience has been that where I land is always much better then the place I took off from. In hindsight, it was worth taking the leap of faith.

The moments of free fall, of solitude are an ending and a beginning. It's from the choice to allow emptiness to fill us that change happens. An act of loving Self. The love is both the destruction of the old and creation of the new. Joy arrives as the new collor fils the walls of our world we dance in. Our reflected soul life manifesting as our surrounding reality.

When It's More Convenient

When it's more convenient, I am going to Egypt to see the pyramids, preferably without a big group and lots of tourists. I want to feel again what it's like to be inside the King's Chamber and allow the memories of that time to return. I'll locate the library in Alexandria and shed a tear for the books we lost in the fire, send gratitude for those we saved, and find comfort in the knowing that nothing is ever really lost.

When it's more convenient, I'll return to Haleakala at sunrise, alone and without the distraction of a shallow husband. Haleakala. The House of the Gods. I'll feel the majesty surround and permeate my body, mind, and soul. And remember all we came here to do in this glorious Now we're in the midst of.

When it's more convenient, I'll return to Stonehenge and be thankful that when I first experienced it, no fences or barriers prevented me from walking freely among the stones, touching them, climbing on top. I'll remember how, as with the pyramids, we all came together and used our concentrated energy to alter the gravitational forces so the stones could be lifted and placed where they remain, and be grateful that the true powers are being rediscovered.

When it's more convenient, I'll sit on the beach at the edge of the surf as the sun rises. I'll send out my gratitude for all that this planet is, the magic and mystery of its interdependent and interconnected plants and elements, species and Man. This place where emotions dwell, imbuing all with meaning. This place of all possibilities, so taken for granted, yet slowly the recognition grows day by day, person by person. I'll send my gratitude and relief to the sunrise.

When it's more convenient, I'll write my thoughts, my wishes, and my wisdom on little sticky notes then I'll fly high up in the air, scattering them all around and see who they stick on, then watch for change and the awakening to unfold.

Now is a very convenient time for all these things. Now is a very convenient time to realize our dreams.

Preparation in the Moments Before Final Accelleration

Over the past few days I've felt the energy streaming into the planet ramp up exponentially. Restlessness, difficulty focusing, and unusual disruption of sleep are the main symptoms I'm feeling. Many of us sense that the waves of earth changes have only just begun and will now increase in intensity. Gaia has absorbed over the millennium so much of the fears, doubts, and destructive thoughts we earth inhabitants have spewed out relentlessly. This lower vibrating energy she needs to release now, cleanse and heal, as she absorbs the higher Heart level energies pouring in. Ascension was promised to her from the beginning.

As more and more of the Light Forces enter in and flourish in our hearts and ways of being, the Dark Forces contract and become increasingly concentrated. Less diffuse, the Dark Forces become more visible to all. They are illuminated and stand out in contrast to the higher vibrating Light Forces. They are also becoming more vicious in their efforts to control as they struggle to maintain their existence.

As so many of us are aware, many are leaving the planet now. Their numbers will increase as earth changes, war and dis-ease provide the vehicles for their departure. They have chosen this, either prior to their incarnation or during. In leaving the physical plane they will take their place to assist from other levels and dimensions.

All is as Divinely planned. The great Transition occurs on all levels. This is important for each of us to recognize. Even as we gain understanding of what is taking place at higher levels, we are still incarnate being living in the physical material plane. We are not exempt from experiencing the Transition at the physical level. There will be great, inescapable sadness and loss. There will be immense challenges. It is all just around the corner. Many cloak their minds in denial and the false belief that in expanding, they no longer need concern themselves with anything "negative". It is best that we each recognize that challenges and loss are part of the Transition and prepare ourselves. These challenges and losses are the opportunity to experience our Godly power of creativity, to affirm our strength, and deepen our knowing of the Divine eternal flame within. Love is the force of both creation and destruction.

Another aspect playing out in the physical conflict of Dark and Light Forces is our awareness of our God given right to Free Will. It is our birth right here as incarnate beings on Earth. We are being given the opportunity to see and experience the importance of this Universal Law, our right to choose. We each have the right to Free Will, provided that we never infringe upon another's Free Will. Many violations of this law occur. On the global level, many are now standing up against the Dark Forces operating in our governments to claim their right to free will. From a soul level, it's vital in each soul's progression that they claim their right to Free Will and stand up against infringement and violation of this Universal Law. It is vital that each of claim and exercise this divine right. By ignoring the violations by individuals or by our governments, who we chose and allow to represent us, we are allowing and accepting the incursions upon our free will. Standing up can be done by either fighting back, which many will chose to do in the form of revolution. Or it can be done by refusing to acquiesce to those who infringe upon our right. We can walk away and refuse to play the game. Each of us has the right to chose how they wish to respond. That is our Free Will in operation.

Gradually we are coming together to anchor in the light and create a new energy framework for the planet. Coming together should be focus for us now. Seek out others, particularly in your own small communities. We have all been guided to move closer together physically, and our job now is to affirmatively seek each other out and make the connections without delay.

Guidance comes to us from many sources throughout the Universe. Little known are the Keepers who have been actively awakening and guiding us as they work from higher levels. There are Keepers incarnate on the planet who are now coming forth. They number about 2000, and have lived lives of relative seclusion hidden away in mountain caves, deep forests, as well as in plain site. They came into life on the planet prepared to guide and assist in this most active phase of the Expansion. Most people will not recognize them for who they are at this time. Some of the Keepers may themselves not be conscious of who they are at present, but that awareness will unfold. They are doing their work regardless. As we progress forward the Keepers among us will become known. The Keepers of the Crystals will activate the final changes for the transition to Lightbody and will open the portals for the Ascension. The Keepers of Earth guide and coordinate the Light Workers throughout the planet.

We are in the final moments of preparation before the most tumultuous phase leading up to the shift. The last big breath before diving in. Today I share with you this reminder to myself. Savor each glorious day, each moment of tranquility, and cherish the splendor and mystery of the natural world living in interconnected harmony all around us. Open our hearts wide. Acknowledge each within ourselves our strength and courage. And place ourselves each moment in the vibration of Love. God speed!

Gifting Children

Two children
Crouch in sand at water's ebbing edge,
Silhouettes and sparkle.
Perfect bodies
So small amid wide gold, blue, white shimmer.
Their babble scatters on the wind,
Like dust flecked across the sunlight.
Head bent, intent,
Digging for the perfect shell
She offers him on sandy outstretched palm.

At dusk in a back garden
They fly in whirling abundance.
Tag and song and innocence,
The children's laughter
Peels above the darkening grass,
Weaving through the leaves.
Movement calling forth the moon.
Dancing with the firefly
He offers her on smooth outstretched palm.

In soft vertical snowfall
The children walk,
Bundled and booted.
Steady, even child paces paired,
Quiet in gray, white, and branches.
A song of intuition, of knowing,
Moves unseen between the stillness.
As silently they pause and trade
Two snowflakes tongue to tongue.

Two children journeying.
Within the other
They recognize such similar scars,
Such similarly born strengths.
A globe of radiant wonder
Floats between them,
Riding on the interchange.
Theirs is a mutuality of healing.
Each accepting gifts
Offered on a kindred soul's outstretched palm.

Oh, will they ever,
Can they ever fully comprehend
Those married forces of Moon and Fate
That pull the tide and days and winds
Over them, rhythm, onwardly threading.
Drawing lives together, drawing them apart,
Moon and Fate drawing up the blanket
To tuck them in at night.


Copyright © 2009 by Helen Sumerwell All rights reserved

Gambling With Unsparing Change

Loose change
Spare change
On a dime
My two cents
Pocket change
Make a bet
Are all the lessons ever ours for free?

Full house
House of cards
Queen of Hearts
In spades
Joker's wild
Deuce coupe
Did that Knave steal a heart from me?

See you
Raise you
Diamonds trump
Winning suit
Play my card
Shoot the moon
Tomorrow, who shall I decide to be?


Copyright © 2010 by Helen Sumerwell All rights reserved

Night Birds' Song

I was in one of those phases when sleep evades my grasp each night at 2:30 am. It had been going on for days, this ritual of nightly waking. Tossing and turning is not my style, so I'd rise, heat water for tea, and take my seat at the table on the porch. The porch was where I lived. The table was my kitchen table, desk, and coffee table rolled into one.

As I sat pondering the stars and musing over whatever thoughts passed through my head in the wee hours, it became my magic time. Then one night I noticed all the birds were singing. A wild symphonic choral performing in this out of place hour. There are often times I'll hear the birds singing in the moment just before the sun rises, but this was the depths of the night.

I watched and listened. The next night they sang again. This time I went inside after a few minutes and occupied myself on the computer. When I listened the birds were silent. As I stepped back onto the porch, they erupted back into song. And then I knew. All the birds were singing just for me. They sang a song of our power to touch the world all around us by simply stepping out and being present.

Holding Hands

Oh what love, holding my daughter's hand, so small within mine. She always accepted my hand. Not like so many children who find the game in running just out of reach. No, she always took mine. She continued to do so even as she grew past the age that it was required for her safety. How big a gift could one person give as that?

There was a period in her middle years when I let go of her hand often when we walked together, until finally she asked me why. Doing so had not been conscious on my part and to learn of my reflexive action erupted such sadness and the horror that I'd give such a strong message counter to my heart. It was a difficult span of years, not with her, but my discovery that I couldn't reach my husband within the marriage in which I'd placed such hope. Perhaps it was my deep feelings of unworthiness and unlovableness that led me to drop her hand, as if even she couldn't possibly love me.

It still makes me sad, fills me with regret to think that I could have dropped her small hand when we walked back in that time. Yet there is solace now. Even though she is grown and on the threshold of starting her own family, she will let me take her hand when we walk out together.

How many images and words and expressions are contained in this simple act of holding my daughter's hand, and her mine. It is our statement to the world. It is our quiet agreement, our magic created out of the string of days and years we've walked through together.

Stone Soup...Or a Lesson in Trusting the Process

The invitation said, "Come to my house on Saturday at 2:00. Bring a raw food item. Don't talk to any of the other class members about the food you're bringing." She wouldn't answer any questions about what sort of food or how much to bring. This was actually an assignment for one of my classes at the Center For the Study of Human Systems, to take part in our classmate's Culminating Project, a requirement for her Associate Certificate.

We gathered in her living room at the designated time. I seem to remember bringing a bag of green peppers. "Now", she said, "Let's go around the room and each person say what they've brought." Bananas, onions, chicken, green pepper, potatoes, chocolate chips, carrots, ginger, lettuce, corn, marshmallows, green beans, mushrooms, cheese. "I wanted in my project to create a lesson in trusting the process. It's been a big lesson for me already because I've had no idea whether this would work. But here you all are and you've all brought food. Now you're going to make dinner. So figure out what you can make with what you've brought. There are staples like flour, sugar, rice, as well as an assortment of condiments in the kitchen that you can help yourself to. Drinks are on the kitchen table."

None of us had known what to expect when we selected a food to bring. It took a minute to grok what this was about. Then we rather quickly formed in small groups with others whose ingredient went together to form a dish. In my group were chicken, onions, green peppers, mushrooms, ginger. We decided to make an Asian chicken stir-fry, or did we bake it. We concocted some sort of marinade from soy sauce, white wine from the drinks table, ginger and whatever else we located from the condiment shelf that made it taste good.

There was no overall coordination by anyone and I wasn't paying too much attention to the other groups that formed. Don't recall that anyone was. We just focused on cooking our contribution towards dinner. Early in our preparations a couple of requests came in from one or two of the other small groups for part of an onion or two carrots. We coordinated use of the stove, oven, and cooking implements among the groups with little effort. It all flowed. None of us had any idea whether our dishes would compliment each other, we weren't really sure what anyone else was making. We had fun, there was a lot of laughter.

I remember it was a warm, sunny June afternoon. There was a very pleasant patio and back garden off the kitchen with a big hammock strung between two trees. During a break from cooking I rocked in the hammock with a glass of wine and chatted with one of my colleagues.

Finally everyone was ready and we spread the dishes out on the patio table. There was my group's Ginger chicken with vegetables, a big mixed salad of lettuce and steamed vegetables, stuffed baked potatoes with onions and melted cheese, corn on the cob roasted on the grill. And for dessert, bananas baked with melted marshmallows and chocolate chips. We'd had just the right amount of each food to prepare the meal for all of us. A fabulous meal from start to finish. A feast!

I've always been grateful to my colleague for creating this experience. The richness of learning from that afternoon stays with me. When we trust the process, everything we need comes together. We have the creativity to provide for ourselves when we all participate. Everyone has something valuable to contribute. Magic happens when we let go of knowing and trying to control what the end result should be. Trust, what it feel like and how it changes everything. I'm certain other aspects of learning from this experience will reemerge in my conscious awareness after I post this. You could always try this with some friends and experience it yourself, then harvest your own wisdom from the experience. I can just about promise that, at a minimum, you'll have a great dinner. Then again we are just now entering the time when this is the way we'll be doing everything.

Enjoy each moment of your life!

A Huge and Powerful Gift We Rarely Acknowledge

I'm going to tell a story today. I had a very dear friend, one of the best friends I've ever known, who taught me something immensely valuable during our friendship, though I didn't realize it until after she had left the planet.

Priscilla was there with me during some very challenging transitions in my life, and I in hers. When I first got to know her I was ending a marriage, moving, and soon thereafter starting a new career and business of my own. Throughout all the changes and much personal growth she was there for me. And she knew she could always count on me to be there for her too. I can say this because she told me so herself. She was really good at being a friend. I valued all she brought into my life. I valued our camaraderie.

Early in my new career, while attending a training session, I met a very impressive and senior person in the field. He was one of the presenters and I had gone up afterward to ask him for clarification on something he'd spoken about. He was very cordial and invited me to call him if I was ever in his city (it was nearby) and we could have lunch. Of course I told Priscilla about that evening and the invitation. And sometime thereafter, I contacted him and we scheduled lunch. Now this was really quite a gutsy thing to do, for someone entering the field to call him about having lunch, given his position and the decorum practiced throughout the field.

The day before the lunch date, Priscilla and I chatted about it. I was nervous. Now Priscilla was a very gifted intuitive, and sometimes she'd come out with some word of guidance that I could tell was through her guides, the White Brotherhood. As we were talking that day she said, "He is going to give you something huge." Despite my repeated pleas for more details, she wouldn't say any more, just, "It's huge." Lunch was very pleasant. Over the next few years we had lunch perhaps two other times. I forgot about what she'd said. On a few occasions I felt comfortable contacting him for guidance on a difficult business situation. He made time for me and was very supportive. This meant a lot to me, especially as it was not an easy field in which to build a business on your own and few people in his position would take the time to offer guidance as he did for me.

Unexpectedly, Priscilla became ill and she passed over within a few days. Her passing was a very difficult adjustment for me. She'd been such a big part of my day to day life and suddenly there was only a big hole and an empty silence.

During the process of grieving, of identifying exactly what I had lost, I came to see the enormous gift Priscilla had given me. My recognition came out of sensing what was no longer there. I saw then that I had also received this same gift from the senior professional in my field. It was something I had not really understood the significance of before. This is the gift. She believed in me.

Feeling the strength of her belief in me, had given me confidence to overcome my doubts. It gave me courage to go for what I wanted, even against great odds. It helped me find strength to do what I believed in.

We came here to experience and to learn from our experiences. What we learn experientially, we really know and understand. We know it in our minds, our hearts, our body. Our culture puts little focus on identifying what we've learned from our experiences, which is sad and unfortunate because that is where such wisdom lies. I'm certain that I could never have comprehended just how powerful a gift believing in someone is, had I simply been told me it was so. Even though I was experiencing something that felt so good and was so important to me, it was only once I really searched through what I'd experienced that I was able to clearly identify what it was.

I share my experience here in this post with the intent that doing so might remind you of an experience you've had where someone believed in you, and it changed your life. And with the hope that in recollecting your experience you might get in touch with your inner knowing of just how huge and powerful a gift believing in someone is. The power of this gift is not one that we give much notice to in our society, yet think about it's magnitude when it's multiplied exponentially.

May the Light be with you!

Reflected Heart

They say the outside reflects what is within.
I am waiting now for my heart to appear around me.
Such a simple thing,
This gift of reflection.
Only open our eyes,
Survey our surroundings,
Fathoms the depths of our soul.

I plant seeds in the soil of my being
With patience and gratitude.
Tend the seedlings,
Watch with expectancy for my garden to flourish.

What was once a barren, weed choked patch
Took so many days and months and years.
I pulled the weeds,
Loosened earth, shedding air and light
And openness into the dark loam.
Amendments added to nurture.
Many lifetimes' work.

Now, finally now
Spring comes, ample rain and beckoning sun.
Seedlings grow noticeably each day.
We are becoming who I AM,
Standing in the garden of the heart's reflection.


© 2010 by Helen Sumerwell. All rights reserved.

Who I Am

The Alchemist of Sweetness

I am the Queen of Lemonade.
Queen of the masses,
No royal birth here.
I earned each jewel in the crown,
Cut each facet, polished each stone
In the journey of lemons.
Too tart, too sour
To nurture the soul.
The sting bares our unknown cuts,
We grow aware by the sting.
And who really,
Who is there
To grant the promise of lemon-less ease?
We all get lemons,
Some more than others.
Some get bushels.
Bushels bestowed on me,
My cosmic birthright.
The power of alchemy lies in the learning,
Learning the secret of brewing lemonade.
Mine the Truth within.
Mine for all your worth.
Following the vein deeper,
Deeper down the vein of sweet golden Truth.
An alchemist of sweetness I became.
Sweetness refined in understanding.
Today I step into later years,
Regal in my crown of sparkling citrines.
Open wide the doors of my court!
Send out the call!
I'll teach the alchemy of sweetness
To any who wish to learn
The high art of making lemonade.

Copyright © 2007 by Helen Sumerwell All rights reserved